


Life Is Beautiful

by iwaizumist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Haikyuu - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Unrequited Love, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 14:12:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16662431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwaizumist/pseuds/iwaizumist
Summary: Life is beautiful, they recite, as they wish their life would end.Hajime shouldn't have been born, but life is selfish. He meets Oikawa Tooru, his saviour and he begins to fall in love.





	Life Is Beautiful

It's common belief that death is the constant enemy, as humans live their lives in fear. Life is beautiful, they recite, as they wish their life would end. What happens when a soul is not ready to be born? When the universe knows this child would be happier dead? There's nothing close to a chance for this poor soul to have justice. As death begs life to grant him this fallen soul, death is denied. Life is beautiful, the universe recites as death begs. For death knows the trauma the soul shall experience. Life is beautiful, they recite. If death continues to take lives before they are even born, it will never be anything other than evil. Yet, it does not matter what happens to the unfortunate soul, as life will remain beautiful. Life is selfish, they recite.

Years passed by, one torture after another, as Iwaizumi Hajime laid in bed. Death had been right, as they watched him grow up. Hajime was six now, six years he'd been subject to eternal trauma, and each night he prayed to an entity that it'd end, that it would all be over soon. But life watched on, blind to the fear, as it did not matter as long as life was beautiful. His mother was a failure, a poor, broken alcoholic, and his father had left not long ago. The light left his eyes, as he experienced the pain, and at six and a half he stole his mother's cigarettes. Three months later, he'd figured it out; and it was a wonder how his lungs held up. How could life watch on as the six-year olds lungs deteriorated. The flames burning in front of him were the only light in his life. Education was never expected to play a big part in his life, so when he applied for himself at eight, those who knew of him were shocked. At nine, he grabbed a knife, and dragged it across his skin. How could life watch on as the nine-year olds skin deteriorated? At 12, he started middle school, and thought he had found his saviour.

Oikawa Tooru. An aspiring volleyball player, he claimed. His fluffy brown hair fell over his eyes, as a grin struck his face. His brown eyes sparkled brightly, and he waved frantically. "Nice to meet you, what's your name?" He asked, his voice significantly higher than Hajime's. A volleyball remained between Tooru's elbow and waist, as the colours burned into his soul. A friend. A friend that Hajime has made. They spent time with each other, a lot of time. Whenever volleyball practice wasn't on, Hajime would be round Tooru's house, and Hajime fell in love. At 14, they went on coffee shop dates, as Hajime gazed upon Oikawa's dramatic hand movements fondly. Tooru carried on obliviously though, chattering on about "Ushiwaka"'s practice match, and how much he despised him. Hajime daydreamed of living with him, and waking up next to him, as Tooru smiled. "Ha-jime?" Oikawa sounded out, dragging out the a. "Eh, what the fuck do you want, Shittykawa?" Hajime replied. "I asked you who you like, dumbass." Tooru snapped back. Of course, he had to ask that question. What could you possibly say to that question, would you confess your undying love for your best friend? Or would you sit there in silence and deny all romantic feelings in fear. When I'm 16, he promised himself, when he's 16 he'll confess.

He's 16 now, and as he sits with his hands clenched together, in his lap, he braces himself for what's to come. His hair is shorter now, as it frames his tanned face. He'd be hotter if he smiled more, the girls say. It doesn't really matter to him though, as Tooru is the only one on his mind, as his beautiful smile plays on Hajime's mind like a record. Breathe in, breathe out. That's what he repeats, again and again. Is it worth it? What will become of Hajime and Tooru? Yet, Hajime had to keep his promise, the promise he made two years prior. Hajime stood at Tooru's kitchen desk, roses in hand. "H-Hajime? What's that for?" Tooru enters, eyes wide. A deep breath, two deep breaths. "Tooru, I need to tell you something." so he did. "I-I like you, Tooru. A lot." And he cries. Hajime cries so fucking hard – and the tears fall. How they fall so fucking hard as he cries into his hands. The look in Oikawa's eyes, as he watched Hajime confess, gave it all away. "Hajime, I can't. I don't- I'm not- Okay." And that was it. Hajime ran as fast he could.

He's 16 now, and as he sits at his desk, hands holding the black fountain pen, he prepares himself for the words he's about to write. He writes to his mother, to the father he never met, but most importantly to Tooru. The love of his life for the time he enjoyed it. He thought he had found his saviour, and in some ways he had. He spoke of the times he had played volleyball with Tooru; and watched the light sparkle in his eyes as his skin encountered the ball. He spoke of the passion behind Tooru's eyes, and the one regret Hajime would have upon leaving this Earth. He'd regret leaving Tooru so soon, he'd regret not being able to watch Tooru grow to be successful and happy as he moved on without him – but most importantly, he'd regret not winning the nationals. He'd regret not winning them with Tooru. So, as he laid down his pen, and folded up the letter, he addressed it to Oikawa. For they were no longer friends, just strangers in another life. The rope was entangled around Hajime's neck, as Oikawa's fingers moved frantically across his keyboard, and his legs ran through the rain. The clock struck 6:10, and Iwaizumi fell, the ropes tightening around his tanned neck. 6/10 was his birthday. At 6:11, he got a text message from Oikawa. It was an apology. An apology for not replying to his confession quicker. He'd asked if they could hang out at the coffee shop, the same coffee shop Hajime fell in love in when they were 14. At 6:12, Oikawa arrived. He ran straight in, the spare key imprinting on his left hand, and he burst through Iwaizumi's bedroom door. 6:13. That's what time it was when Oikawa saw. Saw the light had left Hajime's eyes. A minute too late, that's what he'd been. A minute passed by, and Hajime was gone. He read the letter over and over, the letter which was addressed to him. Oikawa would never grow to be successful and happy. Not when he's gone. Not when Iwaizumi Hajime was gone.

Oikawa Tooru. An aspiring volleyball player. That's what he introduced himself as when he was 12, when he first met Iwaizumi Hajime. That was the last thing Hajime addressed him as; Oikawa Tooru, the aspiring volleyball player, who'd live his life without him.

Death took Hajime into his arms. He lost his life too soon, yet left way too late. It was never the right time for Iwaizumi Hajime, for he'd forever be an eternal stranger to the love of his life. Despite the previous occurrences, life watched on, for Iwaizumi would never matter as long as life stayed beautiful. Life is selfish, they recite, as Hajime enters Tooru's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who read this!  
> I'll post more if people like this, so please leave kudos!  
> Thank you to Roza for getting me to write and Ida for inspiring me with your great writing!!


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